From Crush to Commitment: What Love Taught Me About Branding
In therapy, I kept circling back to the same kind of crushes. You know the type: sharp, magnetic, well-put-together. Emotionally compelling and intellectually charged — almost like looking into a mirror, in the best (and worst) ways.
One day, while talking to a good friend, I mentioned I was watching two men — real-life friends — having a conversation. One of them looked like everything I used to fall for. We were so alike it felt electric: aesthetically pleasing, deeply creative, detail-driven. He excited me.
He reminded me of the parts of myself I used to chase in others — the polished, the intentional, the refined. “He’s aesthetic, brilliant, clean, and perfect. He’s like a well-designed magazine cover: breathtaking, but not warm. And that’s not a bad thing. He’s inspiration, spark, beauty… but he’s also vertigo”.
But then there was the other one. Softer energy. Less about the polish, more about the presence. Probably not the type I would’ve picked in the past. But now? He calmed me. We said this about him: “He’s soil, warm bread, real hands, and comfort-seasoned food. He speaks as if the world moved more slowly and kindly. He doesn’t need you to shine. He just needs you to be. And that kind of calm… that’s the kind of love that brings you back to your body. Not a love that burns with drama — a love that holds you. One that cooks with you even when he’s not hungry, just to see you smile over cilantro.”
And in that moment, I realized:
I used to fall for what mirrored me. Now I’m drawn to what makes me feel safe.
And just like that, it hit me: branding works the same way.
The problem with chasing constant excitement
So many brands are stuck in “crush mode”: Loud. Viral. Visually perfect. Hyperactive on TikTok. Performing, performing, performing.
Their goal? Emotion. Visibility. Hype. But here’s the thing: excitement fades if there’s no grounding behind it.
You can be eye-catching and still be forgettable.
You can be stunning and still be hollow.
You can go viral — and never be chosen again.
What we actually crave
We don’t stay for the drama. We stay for the connection. Just like in love, the brands we return to aren’t always the most thrilling — they’re the ones that make us feel like we’re home.
The ones that show up with clarity.
That don’t reinvent themselves every Tuesday.
That communicate like they know who they are.
That feel safe to trust.
That let us exhale.
You don’t need to be a firework. You need to be a fireplace.
Strategy is intimacy
Consistency isn’t boring — it’s a love language. A strong brand strategy is not about entertaining your audience every day.
It’s about making them feel seen across every interaction:
In your reels and in your replies.
In your visuals and in your packaging.
On your website and in your customer service tone.
The best brands don’t just aim to be loved —they act lovingly, on every platform. They don’t shout to be heard. They whisper — and people still lean in.
I watched these two talk: one describing a silent retreat, the other wondering if he should harvest the leeks now or later. And it made me think…One talks. The other stays. I used to go for the talk. Now, I choose the one who stays.
